Walkaway today?

Behind such a beautiful face lies demons and self disgrace.
Such sweetness in his lips, mouth, eyes.
When will you give my love a try?
It hurts when he whispers goodbyes.
Please stay, I say, but he goes anyway.

Just give me morphine

Written Jan 2004

I'm in a love coma.  I cannot move or function.  All I do is think of you.  Why? How?  Tingles constantly go up my spine, in my head, a lump forms in my throat, but I cannot cry anymore.  Nothing can stop these thoughts I have.  They are all of you.  I cannot figure out this puzzle in my head, I can't figure out how to get of this couch and live my life again.  I feel dead.  I can't breath or think any happy thoughts.  All I do is die over and over.  I can't figure out why you sound so happy and I am in my own hell of a prison.  Wasn't I a good girl?  Didn't I treat you so good?  Don't I deserve happiness?  Why do you deserve to be free of agony?  Why is the good girl killed and the cheater still standing?  Too many whys. Just pass me the morphine.

You're a mother F

Written Jan 2004

HICKORY DICKORY DOCK, you're a mother fucking cock!
A cowardly lion afraid of himself.
The only thing you love is yourself.
A pathetic excuse you fed me in the end.
I don't want to hurt you.
Bullshit, let me translate.
You wanted to say out with the old and in with the new, I found a better you.
I'm through with you.

You make me sick, you cheating prick.
Go fuck skanks, because I'm not taking you back.
I'm too good for you, it is true because you had a good girl.
Good luck you fuck trying to find that devotion again, I tried cheat after cheat.
The grass is greener on my side, when I think of you, I see dead brown grass even cows won't eat.
You don't know the meaning of love, or even joy.
How could a nice girl like me fall for a toxic boy?

You tainted me, turned me black inside.
Isn't it a shame some other man will turn me back to sunshine?

Red Waterfall

Written Jan 2004

My dreams shattered, splattered
all over the wall behind my head.

You fed me fake love that was pure red.
You promised a million lies, but said so many goodbyes.

You ripped, dipped, gripped, and stripped my heart apart into a million pieces.
You stomped, clomped, dumped, and jumped onto it for fun, then saved the gun for last.

You shot my beating heart to a dead silence.
Your eyes were closed, but I assure you it was amazingly violent.

You killed me, we, us. Hush!
Don't speak, just watch my bloody heart leak down my body like the waterfall of heartbreak you created.

You killed my spirit too, not just my love.   It's floating in uncertainty and insanity within this very room.

You've murdered my romantic sweet love sick side.
Now I am broken just like the seashells floating away in the tide.

Secret Crush

Written in 1992 or 1993

He is the kind of man
that has a groove to his walk
and a innovative talk
A smile that is a mile
and a heart with a lock

If he gave you a raised brow look
your own eyes would instantly be hooked
And if he walked by you would sigh
You would think about everything that reminds your mind of that guy

A sensitive man that would give love from a far fetched dream scene
laying near a stream
He would kiss ever so softly from head to toe and
wrap his arms tightly and never let you go

He would smother you with so much love
he would be a perfect fit like a hand and glove
BUT
She has the key
I wish it was me.

Mindschool

Written sometime in Highschool

I walked into the classroom
An eerie scared silence loomed
Here I go again, a year to bloom
But will I?

There's a lot of people walking
All of them in my head stalking
Here I go again, all this self talking
But will it stop?

I want to join the outgoing crowd
But then again I'll never be that loud
Maybe if I lose another pound
But will anyone notice?

I'm quiet, I have ideas and opinions though
Just because I don't say much doesn't mean I'm slow
Here I go again, doubting my inner glow
But is it bright?

This year I promise to talk more
I won't be a wallflower bore
Here I go again, watching them ignore
But am I invisible?

Yes.
Yes you are!

First love

Written in 1994

Alone by the sea I stand
Eternal darkness is all I see
Sitting quietly on the damp sand
I wish you were holding me

Your touch is as hot as the tip of fired gun
You give me a feeling of warmth
Like a blanket that was just laid out in the sun
I'm sorry that I run back and forth

Your kiss is as gentle as the air
I think we can be a good pair
I do care for you quite a lot
Wether you believe that or not

At first your kisses were so new
But time was on our side, wasn't it worth the wait?
I just needed to see if you were true
And now I know I've fallen for the bait