Play Me

"A painter should not paint what he sees, but what will be seen."

All the things that were said and unsaid play in my head

My fantasies of you are abundant

I imagine your fingers on me

Playing me like your favorite song

As I sing the notes of unrequited adoration

With passionate whimpers and escaped moans

You feel powerful like a master conductor

As I cry your name out in broken whispers

You played me again, oh how I do not want it to end

Because I know I won't see you for a long while by your choice

So I try to spend a few more minutes in your presence but you push me back into my case

And lock it up until you need to feel my curves and hear my unique music again

If you'd peek inside my case more than once a month

You'd see I'm patiently waiting to be thought of by you

To be looked at with your sparkling blue eyes

To be held by your masculine rough yet vulnerable sweet hands

Gift me to someone else if you are not going to learn me, but please learn me

If I'm ever in someone elses possession, you'll never be wiped clean

Your essence will forever haunt my strings

I am made to be strung with fingers that touch with meaning, like you do

And to be held under a chin like yours

Do not push me in my case and lock me away

Play with me, play for me, play me

Music is not just music with you

What have we done?

My body is different than what your used to. However you have to admit it's more fun, more to do. I am like an amusement park ride as you glide in between my breasts with your delicious stick. Thinking of you makes in between my legs throb, you make my juices dance like a flash mob. Yea I'm crazy feeling you, not only for your looks, but your love of books, for your cool style, your smile that's a mile, your shy glances, and extremely undercover advances, your inner demon, your hot seamen, your unsureness, your perfect kiss, that tasty Thai dish. Yea I'm sitting over here making wish after wish that you see me trying, so we can go flying over an over into space going past home run base. Fuck your walls, I'll go go gadget over them and grab your balls, to make you see I'm telling you you're so for me. I'm intense yes but what am I supposed to do when you do me so good, it makes me lose my mind and it's on constant rewind. Your slow pace is romantic, but I go a little frantic waiting for your next move. What do I do? Bother you? Look for a clue? Tell you?....ahh I want to let you in all the way so bad, I don't want just the butterflies, I want the whole zoo. Are you being shy, don't know how to say goodbye? Are you still interested or you don't want to get anymore invested? Are you closed off but not to an ex? Is it just about getting you some sex? My intuition says no but my heart says stop, he's not giving the all systems go. Red flags wave but I still want to pave the way to save us both from black hearts.

I felt it

I revealed a vulnerable side of myself that night, some pain hidden in my mind.  He looked at me longer than usual, like he really just realized something about me.  For a split second, I wondered what the look was about. Then I just knew.  I smiled and kept his eye contact until he broke it.  In that moment, I felt like he understood me without even saying a word.  He wanted to get up and hug me and make me feel better.  He wanted to show that he cared about me, but again his insecurities won.  He might never tell me what he feels for me, but I felt it and that was good enough for me in that moment.

Get drunk but don't forget today

The man stood in front of me, eyes widened, he was frightened, I was terrified.
I knew it was him or me.
He said something in another language, while he was fumbling with reloading his rifle.
I had to make that choice, kill him or let him kill me.

If only I had spoken his language, maybe we could have made a taboo truce and walked away.

I pulled the trigger, I will never forget the scream that bounced off the trees into my ears. The pain I inflicted brought instant guilt and sorrow for a stranger who was just defending inflated pride.

We both were inflated and brainwashed thinking our side was right. We both were just doing what we'd been told to do. But who told me to kill a young man in cold blood for what ended up in vain? I knelt down beside him and held his hand. He looked at me with confusion, said something I wished I could have deciphered, and then the glaze over happened. I cried for him and his family that loved him.

He was my first casualty from my unhappy trigger finger. I'll never forget his face, etched into my subconscious forever. Even on my deathbed, I will forever remember him and his sacrifice for his country and our country.

This is how I see you

Your eyes entice me like a warm blue iceberg,

Melting me from the inside out,

Turning my liquid juices into hot lava,

Making my chest beat like a tropical drum.

Your smile radiates light into my eyes,

Turning the dark brown into golden fire embers,

Sparkling sunshine through my brainwaves,

Making my head elevate into the sky.

Your touch zaps electric currents into my veins,

Shocking my blood into a rapid boil,

Jolting my skin with waves of heat ripples,

Making invisible scorching passion scars.

Your kiss feels like a perfect puzzle piece to my mouth,

Magnetic chemicals pull our lips  together into a lock,

Sending my mind to a vacation to oblivion,

Making my tongue feel like it's being deep fried.

Your style is as cool as the snowcap of a mountain top,

Never dripping down the sides, only glistening in the sun.

Your stature beams silent strength of a 100 men,

Making you the zen master controlling mindfulness, patience, and inner chaos.

When our bodies connect and we sway like musical notes,

Our minds completely quiet down while they take flight,

Soaring into a dimension of blissful unconsciousness,

Making our shy souls turn into ravaging beasts. 

Your sweet old soul outnumbers a million or more males alive,

It instantly befriended my old soul without any needed introduction.

I see them dance around the room while our bodies grind, 

Making their own music within each other intertwined. 

Magic Woods

I find the woods rather romantic, especially under stars

Grow together

I made this video thinking of the kind of love that I want

To never stop growing together, like a tree

Honeyfill

When you're on top of me, sliding your tongue and manhood in and out of me, it's like you are thick golden honey dripping into every crevice and hole on my skin filling my body with hot sticky nectar.  Your delicious manly residue stays with me for days and I can taste your sweetness heavy on my lips like a layer of white gooey icing melting down a warm red velvet cake.